If you’ve ever tried to get your child to tell you anything about their day and ended up with one word answers, you’re not alone. So many parents (me included!) have been stuck in the “Good. School. Nothing.” conversation loop.
Getting your child to open up doesn’t have to feel like an interrogation. With a few small changes in how and when you talk, you can actually help them want to share more and maybe even enjoy it.
Ever have this conversation with your child before?
You: "Hey, how was your day?"
Child: "Good"
You: "That's good. What did you do today?"
Child: "School"
You: "Well, what did you learn at school today?"
Child: "Nothing"
You: Sigh
Yep. Me too.
For the longest time, I felt like I was pulling teeth just trying to get a full sentence out of my kids. But over time, I learned a few tricks that actually work to get them talking and even (gasp) enjoying our conversations.
Here are some simple but powerful ways to get your child opening up more.
1. Change the Way You Ask Questions
Instead of closed questions (the kind that get a “yes” or “no”), try open ended ones that invite more than one word answers.
Instead of asking, “What did you learn today?”
Try asking, “What did you talk about at school today?”
It seems like such a small difference, but you’d be surprised how much it helps your child open up.
2. Asking Silly Questions
Depending on your child’s age, lighten things up with something funny or unexpected.
Try:
-
“Did anyone tell a joke today?”
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“Did you see anyone pick their nose?” (Guaranteed giggles.)
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“If you could trade teachers for a day, who would you pick?”
Silly questions help break the ice and remind them that talking to you doesn’t always have to be serious.
3. Change When You Talk
Timing matters! Right after school, most kids are tired and need a mental break. Instead of pushing for a deep conversation the moment they get in the car, keep it light . Talk about snacks, music, or what they’re looking forward to after school.
Save the deeper talks for the dinner table, bedtime, or even while driving somewhere relaxed. Sometimes the best chats happen when you’re not making direct eye contact.
4. Make It a Game
Kids open up so much more during play. Try a conversation starter game (there are tons out there!) or make your own questions jar.
You can even ask questions while playing board games, drawing, or going for a walk. When they’re having fun, they’re more likely to share what’s really on their mind.
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5. Be a Safe Space
This one’s huge. Let your child know — often — that they can tell you anything.
Remind them that no matter what happens, nothing they do could ever make you stop loving them. Sometimes silence means they’re nervous, embarrassed, or afraid they’ll disappoint you.
When they know they can come to you without judgment or anger, the walls start to come down and the talking starts to flow.
I’m still learning and growing as a mama, but using these simple shifts has helped me have deeper, more meaningful conversations with my kids and honestly, I love it. 💛
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Because parenting is hard, but talking to your kids doesn’t have to be. 💬
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