Somehow, every January, routines get marketed like they’re supposed to fix everything.
Wake up earlier.
Do more.
Optimize your mornings.
Be more disciplined.
And while that might work for someone, it’s never quite landed for me, especially as a working mom.
Because when you’re balancing work, kids, schedules, and the mental load that comes with all of it, “extra time” isn’t something you’re wasting. It genuinely doesn’t exist.
So instead of building routines that require more energy, more motivation, or more perfection, I’ve learned to build routines that support real life. The kind that bend when they need to and still work even when the day goes sideways.
Let’s Redefine What a Routine Is
For a long time, I thought routines had to look a certain way to count.
They had to be aesthetic.
Consistent.
Done daily.
Executed perfectly.
But the routines that actually help me aren’t impressive. They’re practical.
They’re not about controlling my day. They’re about reducing the number of decisions I have to make when I’m already tired.
A realistic routine isn’t something you do no matter what.
It’s something that helps you more often than it hurts.
Why Motivation Isn’t the Answer (And Never Has Been)
Motivation is unreliable.
It disappears when:
• you didn’t sleep
• a kid is sick
• work is busier than usual
• life just feels like a lot
And if your routines only work when motivation is high, they’re going to fail you the moment you need them most.
That’s why I’ve shifted from relying on motivation to relying on systems.
Small systems. Quiet ones. The kind that keep things moving even when my energy is low.
The Routines That Actually Help in This Season
These aren’t meant to be copied exactly. They’re meant to show what realistic looks like.
1. Doing a Little the Night Before
Not everything. Just one or two things.
Packing lunches.
Laying out clothes.
Gathering my things together.
It doesn’t make mornings perfect, but it makes them gentler and that matters.
2. Anchoring the Day Instead of Scheduling It
Instead of a full schedule, I focus on anchors:
• morning routine
• work
• dinner
• bedtime
Everything else can flex.
This gives the day structure without making it rigid.
3. One Daily Reset (That’s It)
Not a deep clean.
Not a full reset of the house.
Just one small area that helps me feel less overwhelmed, usually the kid's toys.
When that falls apart? We reset tomorrow.
How Routines Help the Mental Load
The biggest benefit of routines isn’t productivity.
It’s mental space.
When certain things happen on autopilot, my brain gets a break. I’m not constantly asking:
“What’s next?”
“Did I forget something?”
“How am I going to fit this in?”
Routines reduce the background noise.
And as a working mom, that’s everything.
When the Routine Falls Apart (Because It Will)
There are weeks where none of this works.
Schedules change.
Kids are sick.
Work feels like too much.
Life does what it does best.
And here’s the thing I wish I’d learned sooner:
A routine failing doesn’t mean you failed.
It means the season shifted.
So we adjust. We loosen. We simplify again.
Routines aren’t meant to be rigid. They’re meant to be responsive.
If You Feel Like You’re “Bad at Routines”
You’re probably not bad at routines.
You’re just trying to use ones that weren’t designed for your life.
If your days are full, your routines need to be:
• flexible
• forgiving
• supportive
Not punishing. Not demanding. Not all-or-nothing.
A Gentle Reminder as You Settle Into the Year
You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel more grounded.
Sometimes the smallest systems make the biggest difference:
• one prep habit
• one anchor
• one reset point
That’s enough.
And if all you manage this week is showing up and trying again tomorrow?
That still counts.
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