The Version of Motherhood No One Posts About

There’s a version of motherhood that doesn’t really make it online.

It’s not the highlight reel, but it’s not the meltdown either. It’s the in-between days. The ones where nothing is technically wrong, but you still feel heavy by the end of the day.

You love your kids. You’re doing what needs to be done. And somehow you’re still exhausted in a way that sleep doesn’t quite touch.

That part caught me off guard.

The tired that doesn’t fix itself

Before kids, I thought being tired meant I needed to sleep. Now I know there’s another kind, the kind that comes from always being “on.” From keeping track of who needs what, who’s about to melt down, what’s coming up next, and what you’re forgetting while you’re doing all of that.

It’s the mental load, but it’s also the emotional weight of being the steady one day after day. There isn’t really a point where it feels finished. You just wake up and do it again.

Some days that feels manageable. Other days it just feels like a lot.

Loving your kids and still needing space

This was one of the hardest things for me to admit, even to myself.

I can adore my kids and still want quiet. I can be grateful for this life and still feel touched out, overstimulated, and ready to crawl out of my own skin by bedtime.

Those things don’t cancel each other out.

Motherhood takes more from our bodies and nervous systems than we’re ever warned about, and needing space doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. It usually just means you’ve been giving a lot.

The pressure to be “fine”

There’s this unspoken expectation that if you chose motherhood, you should be handling it better. That you should feel fulfilled enough that you don’t question it, complain about it, or need breaks from it.

So we smile. We say we’re tired but fine. We downplay the hard parts because everyone else seems to be managing.

But pretending everything is okay doesn’t make it easier. It just makes it lonelier than it needs to be.

The version that counts

I didn’t become the mom I pictured. I became the mom I needed to be: one who’s still learning, still growing, and still figuring things out as she goes.

For a long time, I thought that meant I was doing something wrong. Now I think it just means I’m being honest.

If today feels like one of those in-between days for you, you’re not failing. You’re living the part of motherhood that doesn’t get posted very often.

And this version still counts.