I Was Scared My Boys Wouldn't Want to Hang Out With Me

I was running some errands this weekend and asked the boys if anyone wanted to come with me.

My oldest immediately said yes.

So the two of us went to Target, looked at the fall decorations, picked up a few things we needed, and, of course, got Starbucks. There wasn't anything particularly exciting about the afternoon. We were just out running errands together. Somehow, though, I found myself thinking about something I have worried about for years.

I have always wondered what my relationship with my boys would look like as they got older.

I am a girly girl. I don't care much about sports. I don't go hunting. I am not naturally drawn to a lot of the things I imagine my boys will be interested in as they grow up. I used to wonder if that would eventually make it harder for us to connect.

Would they still want to hang out with me?

Would they think I was boring?

Would they eventually get to an age where Mom just wasn't who they wanted to spend their Saturday afternoon with?

I know there is a lot of growing up between where we are now and where my boys will be someday. I know things will change. My oldest will become a teenager, then a young man, and I have no idea what our relationship will look like at each stage.

I also know I can't predict the future.

What I can tell you is that on this particular Saturday, my son wanted to come to Target with me.

He wanted to look at things with me. He wanted a Starbucks with me. He wanted to spend the afternoon with me.

I didn't have to find some boy-approved activity. I didn't have to pretend to care about something I don't care about. I didn't have to become more like him to make our afternoon fun.

I just had to be his mom.

That realization stayed with me.

I think sometimes we worry so much about whether our kids will become independent, successful, confident, kind people that we forget to wonder what kind of relationship we are building with them along the way.

I don't expect my boys to have all the same interests I do. Honestly, I'm pretty sure there are going to be plenty of things they love that I will never fully understand. That's okay.

I hope they know I will still listen to the story about the thing I don't understand. I hope they know I'll show up to the game even if I have no idea what's happening. I hope they'll invite me along when they are older, even if what they are doing isn't something I would have chosen myself.

Most of all, I hope they know they are always welcome in my world, too.

Maybe one day my boys will be grown and I'll look back on these Target trips and Starbucks runs and wish I could have one more ordinary afternoon with them.

For now, I'm going to enjoy the fact that my oldest still wants to come with me.

I'm going to stop worrying quite so much about whether my boys will want me around someday and pay more attention to the fact that they want me around right now.

Four boys was never the life I pictured for myself.

It has turned out to be one of the sweetest parts of my life.