You Don’t Have to Be That Mom

Just a reminder: you don’t have to be that mom.

You know the one.

She has themed snacks for every holiday, perfect outfits, custom valentines that look like they belong on Pinterest instead of in a backpack that will come home with snack crumbs in the bottom. Her photos are coordinated, her captions are clever, she somehow owns the perfect seasonal throw pillow for any occasion.

And if that genuinely brings her joy, I love that for her.

What I don’t love is how easy it is to start believing that level of effort is the baseline. Like if we aren’t doing the absolute most, we’re falling short.

I’ve felt that pressure before. Standing in Target, staring at the seasonal aisle, convincing myself that if I don’t grab one more thing then I’m not doing enough. Not festive enough. Not thoughtful enough. Not… enough enough.

It’s sneaky like that.

I love holidays. I love traditions. I will absolutely make my kids put on a “cute shirt” for a picture before they run off and immediately spill something on it. I’m not anti-extra. I just don’t want extra to steal the fun.

Because the minute it becomes stressful, it stops being about them and starts being about keeping up.

Our kids don’t measure our love in themed decorations or perfectly curated moments. They measure it in whether we sat down and played. Whether we looked up from our phones. Whether we laughed with them instead of managing every detail behind the scenes.

They don’t need perfect outfits and brand new everything. They need us. Even the tired version. Even the “we ordered pizza because I can't think about what's for dinner for one more second” version.

If you’ve ever looked at another mom and felt that knot in your stomach, like maybe you’re not doing enough, you’re not the only one. I’ve felt it too. It usually shows up when I’m already trying my hardest.

So here’s your reminder, and honestly mine too. Caring counts for more than coordination. Showing up matters more than showing off. Your presence is the thing they’ll remember.

You don’t have to be that mom.

You just have to be theirs.

What’s one thing you’ve decided to let go of this year?